Name________________________________________________________Date ______________

 

School_________________________________________________________________________

 

 

All human behaviors can be represented by this formula:

 

Event (E) 🡪  Filtered through Belief System (B.S.)🡪 Feelings/Action (F)

 

Example:  E= A friend said he would meet you for lunch then doesn’t show up.

F= He made me feel bad.  I’m unimportant.  I wouldn’t have done that to him.  I feel sad because he didn’t even think to call me on my cell!

B.S.= Everything must go the way I want it to.  If he didn’t show up then he doesn’t think I’m a worthwhile person so I must not be!

 

Steps you can take to explore your belief system:

 

Write a sentence to state your feelings:

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Decide exactly what about the event upsets you.

 

______________________________________________________________________________

 

Have a conversation with yourself to decide if your B.S. is absolutely provable

For example-

 

a. True beyond the shadow of a doubt?  

b. False 

c. Maybe True: Maybe False.  I can’t prove it.

 

If your belief system involves something you think someone else is feeling about you CHECK IT OUT WITH THEM!

 

Restate your B.S. by saying something like: It would be nice if ____________________________________

happened but I’ll survive even if it doesn’t.

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Practice this self questioning technique practice, practice, practice, practice…

 

Fill in the blanks to practice:

1.  E= You find out that your boss wants to tell you something that he’s unhappy about.

 

     F=_________________________________________________________________________

 

     B.S.= I must be perfect in everything I do.  I must be afraid to see him.  If I were smart I wouldn’t 

               go into work today.

 

2. E = You attempt to help a friend with a problem and they tell you to “bug off!”

 

    F = ______________________________________________________________________________

 

    B.S. ______________________________________________________________________________

 

 

3. Fill in your own from past experience:  Be ready to share in a large group before leaving.

E=____________________________________________________________________________

​

F=____________________________________________________________________________

 

B.S.=__________________________________________________________________________