I had the pleasure of meeting Fred Dillemuth around 1987, when I was about 15 years old. I was enrolled into the ICARE summer program because I had such a bad academic freshman year in high school, that I was already in danger of not graduating on time with the rest of my peers. At the time, my only goal was to earn enough credits to graduate and keep my parents off of my back. I had no clue that meeting Fred and being part of the ICARE program would help change the course of my life. I learned life lessons that would not only shape the way I thought but would also help mold me into a positive and productive member of society. For me, ICARE was much more than a class to earn makeup credits, it was the life line I needed at the exact time that I needed it and Fred was enthusiastically leading the charge. It’s funny how God puts people in your life just at the right time even though you may not realize their positive effect for years later. When I first met Fred, I had a horrible outlook on life. I was 15 years old, hard-headed, thought I was a grown man and no one could tell me anything. By far, the worst and most dangerous part of my mindset was my outlook on life and my warped perception of my future. It was the 80’s and the height of the gang & crack epidemics in California. I was convinced that I had a dead end future that would culminate with me either going to prison or dead by age of 21. While I was never in a gang, I hung out with many gang members. Many of my friends and relatives were gang members and/or drug dealers and didn’t seem to care if they lived or died either. Even though I came from a very loving two parent household, my true idols were the pimps, pushers and all around hustlers. I idolized those who had the fancy cars, jewelry, money and of course women. They seemed to have the respect in the streets that I wanted but even then I knew it was a dead end future. Because of my negative mindset, it caused me to put myself in extremely dangerous and often life threatening situations. Many of my friends and family routinely carried guns, knives and had no regard for fellow life. I can remember several occasions when I found myself in the middle of shootouts and I didn’t even know how the altercation started. My parents use to preach to me the old adage “birds of a feather flock together” but I never gave it much thought at all. I was having fun, living the life and if anyone got in our way, then it was going to be a very painful afternoon for them. However, as the altercations started to increase and guns became more of a factor, the realization of my own mortality started to hang over my head like a dark cloud. I knew if I continued to hang out with such people, it would be the end of me soon. I was 100% sure that the day would come when I would be confronted by someone who wanted to test me or do me harm and I would either have to take their life to survive or they would take mine. Living past the age of 21 was like a fantasy dream that you only see in books or the movies. I had been in more fights than I can even remember, simply because someone was looking at my wrong. We called it “Bad Doggin’ “ back in the day. Can you imagine that? Walking up to someone and punching them dead in their face with all of your strength because you didn’t like the way they were looking at you. It pains my heart to even recount these feelings and actions but I was young, lost and had no hope. I was a young man who wasn’t afraid to die and didn’t expect to live long. That is a very dangerous and deadly combination. It’s funny how God places people in your life at the exact time when you need them most. Fred Dillemuth and the ICARE program was that lifeline for me. From the very first moment I walked into that summer school class, I knew this was not going to be your ordinary

class. Fred has this astonishing way of making a person look interperspective and taking ownership for one's own situation. Other than my parents, Fred was the first adult who would openly call me out on my own bullshit. And the greatest thing (and most humbling thing) about the class is that the entire class would also call me out on my BS as well. I blamed everyone and everything else for all of my problems. I felt the world was against me for being black and there was nothing that was ever going to change that fact. Fred started to challenge me on these beliefs and would routinely ask me questions like, what role did you play in this situation? What could you have done to change the outcome of the situation? What could you have done to avoid putting yourself in the situation in the first place? We roll-played countless situations of peer pressure and how to avoid these situations from the very start. As I started to work through my assigned workbook and gave thought to each question or situation in the assignments, I began to see myself implementing some of my new learned life skills. I started to take ownership for my failing grades. I met countless other teens who would have killed to have two parents and an entire family at home who loved them so much. A family that broke their backs everyday, not only just for life’s essentials but also for yearly vacations and trips to Disneyland. I started to realize that I was actually blessed and I had no one to blame for my situations but myself. Before I knew it, my relationship started to improve with my parents. My outlook on life started to change and I started to feel hope. I started to learn skills that allowed me to gradually pull away from my friends and relatives who refused to leave the life of drugs, gangs, and violence. Everyday I had to look in the mirror and give myself a heavy dose of “Tough Love.” I started to realize that if I wanted better, then I would have to do better. I continued to come back to ICARE semester after semester throughout high school even though I was no longer short on credits. I knew God had placed Fred in my life for a reason and I had a responsibility to give back to those teens who were lost like I was. To those who had a bad case of “Stinkin’ Thinkin’ “ and devoid of hope in their lives. By the time I had graduated from high school, I had become a Peer Counselor, hosted countless local television shows for ICARE and had traveled all over the state of California speaking to teens and parents about the dangers and pitfalls of drug abuse, gang violence and dealing with teens who felt their lives were on a dead end road with nothing to live for. I would go on to win numerous awards, honors and grants for my work with “at risk teens” but my true rewards came from the many lives I was able to touch. From the thank yous I’ve received from people telling me that I was able to help get them off of drugs before it got too bad. Or for helping someone leave negative people in their past and take responsibility for their future. However, as great of a feeling as all of that was, it is no comparison to the accomplishments and lives changed by my dear friend Mr. Fred Dillemuth. Fred is a beacon of light and hope sent from the heavens above and I could never repay him for all that he has done for me. So how does my story end? Currently, I am 47 years old and happily married for over 20 years to a wonderful lady whom I fell in love with at the age of 14. She stuck with me through the crazy times and has been by my side for the good times as well. We have two teenage kids, 18 & 15 and they are unable to fathom the person their Dad used to be. I’ve dedicated my life to working with teenagers in general and “at risk teens” specifically. I am a Sales Manager at a major Bay Area tech company and I have been helping people reach goals and accomplishments that they never thought possible for over 30 years.